By Augustine Kinaalwa
I never believed that anyone can become a chewing gum addict.
But now I do, and I not only believe in the habit itself as a reality, but also the associated beliefs and characters exhibited by those who love gum.
Today I present to you facts about Ugandan campus girls who can’t spend an hour without chewing gum. I know very many girls at my campus who always keep at least three packages of chewing gum in their hand bags and every time their teeth and jaws are at work like maize milling machines. I decided to do a small research on a significant number of these girls in order to note if they have some characters or beliefs they share in common. The result was a completely interesting, true and un-biased discovery which I would like to share with you.
The first thing on the list is that those campus girls who chew gum non-stop use it to boast their self-confidence. When they chew gum, it gives them a sense that they are very important people and therefore they don’t get butterflies when they are approached by a dude or have to talk to an important person like a lecturer or when they are called upon to make a presentation to the public.
They also chew gum to give off a perspective that they’re very busy people and therefore should be taken seriously. They want you to consider them as important people so you don’t just walk up to them with a purpose of wasting their time.
Another thing I noted is that they chew gum as a way of pretending. Campus girls chew gum to pretend for no particular reason. They may want to pretend to be mature, strong and un-approachable, or just pretending to be bad girls – like those in Mexican based movies.
One fact which blew my mind away is that all those campus girls who like chewing gum have ever been dated by several guys – and not just one or two. They are also more interested in dating compared to their fellow girls who never chew gum.
Another thing I noted is that these girls have boring lives compared to those who never chew gum. They usually have a lot of time at their disposal but have no interesting things to do to fill their time. Also, it could be a sign that a girl is broke or is currently not interested in her studies.
Some girls are naturally proud and chewing gum is just a sign to show their inner person. There is a high chance that every campus girl who chews gum is proud in one way or the other. All those girls who chew gum are actually difficult people.
But never be afraid of them. They are the girls with the least amount of confidence on this planet. And this is also connected to their self-esteem. Chewing gum could therefore be another way for them to lift their self-esteem up.
One important thing you should note is that all the above observations have a strong scientific significance. Even those girls who are typical chewing gum addicts may not be aware of any of the above observations and may not know that they’re actually addicted to chewing gum.
But take the gum away, and she will weep.